clairest

It’s funny the little things that remind me of people, both here and gone.  Mom’s espadrilles.  A shoe I didn’t really understand when I was little.  (The sole looks like rope and I was too young and naive to understand a wedge heel.)  They seemed like a quirky Mom shoe, but now that they are being sold for $128 a pair at J. Crew I may have to revise my opinion. 

It’s time to think about the balcony gardening again! Gardening on the balcony is a nice manageable amount of space, and no lawn to mow.  Here’s my Pinterest board with some of the components for this year’s plan.  This year I’m thinking of marigolds.  They remind me of Dad, maybe because we seemed to have so many in our garden growing up, planted by him.

Now I just have to figure out how to schedule the work ahead around Calvin’s naps! 

If you’re in the mommy circuit, or even if you are not, you have seen the recent TIME magazine cover featuring a mom breastfeeding her 3-year-old son. They are (untraditionally) both standing and staring unabashedly at camera.  As a breastfeeding mom myself, I’ve read a lot of the commentary on the provocative cover story on “attachment parenting.” I share the views expressed in this article, that TIME’s depiction of breastfeeding is an extreme. It’s frustrating because at eight months (and even earlier) when I’d mention that I am breastfeeding I get the response, “STILL?!” and accompanying commentary or innuedo that I am abnormally babying my son or over-attached.  I have to diplomatically reply that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding until 12 months.

The criticism also makes me mad because for a lot of moms breastfeeding is far from easy. It takes learning technique, sleepless nights, worries about adequate “supply” to nourish baby and —for a working mom like me— a lot of accomodations and excuses in terms of schedule and routines.  I could add a lot more on the stress of business travel. (I’m talking to you, Doubletree Hotel and your inability to provide a mini fridge to someone who requested it over a week in advance!)  Evidence of its challenges…

About 44 percent of U.S. moms do at least some breast-feeding for six months. But only 15 percent follow advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics that babies receive breast milk alone for that time span. And fewer still stick with breast-feeding for a year, also recommended by the academy.

So this TIME magazine cover may be successful in its ability to generate chatter and magazine sales, but it depresses me in my effort to be relatively ordinary and care for my baby the way doctors reasonably recommend. It makes breastfeeding seem like an extreme practice, which it’s not.  It’s the most natural thing in the world. That image just isn’t what it’s really about.

(Image: Mother and Child by Enoch Wood Perry Jr, 1831 – 1915)

After seeing this tag toy on pinterest, I made this one for Calvin! (Front and back pictured.)  It’s not quite the same as the instructions called for (no time for fabric paint and templates) but I had some cute flannel left over from burp cloth making and a lot of ribbon.  Calvin is definitely keen to find the tag on any toy, so I think this may be appealing.  There are a few details that reveal its homespun origins - like seams that go a little this way, then that way.  A cleaned up Zone Bar wrapper inside makes it crinkly. I’d have to practice more before this could become another go-to baby gift for others, but I’m sure Calvin will overlook his mom’s minor errors. 

“We know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments happen by age 35. We know that 70 percent of lifetime wage growth happens in the first 10 years of a career. We know that more than half of Americans are married or living with or dating their future partner by 30”  

We know this? NPR and author Meg Jay say so.  I wish I’d known this before I turned 36!  I feel rushed to catalog what those defining moments were, and then I realize that it is likely true: my parents dying, my first job, meeting Jason, getting married, moving away from my hometown, and then moving again. 

Of course, baby came just at the end of the 35th year, sneaking in under the wire!

What to expect from the rest of life? It makes it almost seem like the rest will be coasting, doesn’t it. (I know this is not true.) 

(Amazing watercolor print from silverridgestudio, via Etsy.)

Mind officially blown. This week, out of curiosity, I Google image searched two radio reporters that I listen to often: Kai Ryssdal of Marketplace since he’s on during my drive home, and Jian Ghomeshi of Q who happens to be on in Chicago after I put Calvin to bed every night.  (As you can see, my radio listening is a mutually exclusive activity to childcare.)  I did this expecting that I’d see faces made for radio.  It was such a disappointment as an adolescent to learn that my favorite morning DJ was a pale-faced, chubby, stubbly-bearded guy. I took it as a life lesson, since it was borne out after then seeing the faces of other radio personalities. But wait a minute! Kai and Jian are pretty good looking!  I am still processing this information. 

Though as NPR reporters go, Ira Glass looks exactly like what you think he looks like. 

As much as I laughed when I saw this, it was quickly overlapped with the realization that this Fisher Price iPhone holder - sorry, “Apptivity Case” -  is possibly a brilliant idea.  Calvin will grab everything (straws, cat tails, noses) and phones seem to have a particular appeal. If only there was a practical way to keep this on the phone all the time.  Our little fellow has already broken a pair of Jason’s glasses, and I’m not sure where to place my bets on whose phone will take a hit first.

I signed me and Calvin up for “Parent/Tot” swim lessons this week.  One of my earliest memories is standing on the step of the Y pool.  I was too short to stand in even the shallow end, but I was in swimming lessons already. I also vividly recall later standing on the edge of the diving board, wearing a life jacket no less, swimming instructor treading water below, urging me that it was completely safe to jump. I remember doubting. 

If we get into the class, Calvin and I will be swimming by the end of next week.  Of course it seems to coincide with Calvin developing a significant amount of upset over bath time. I can only imagine what introducing him to what is essentially a HUGE bath tub will be like.  I also still need to think about the logistics of how mom gets changed in and out of her swimsuit in a locker room with Calvin.  Maybe corralling him in a corner on a beach towel for a quick minute? Do I bring in the carseat? But then how to secure it while we are swimming? It won’t fit into the locker!  There are many things I’ve learned to do faster than I thought I could since having a baby (meal times, going to the bathroom…) I guess sliding out of a wet swimsuit may be next. 

In Chicago, you will get this.  Outside of Chicago, just root for the Cubs, that’s the side of town we live on and where our allegiances lie.  (But I also have had better slices in New York.)